Black Friday 2.0
This ain’t your Meemaw’s Black Friday.

Back in the day, she drank black coffee at 2 a.m. and conjured her inner roller-derby queen. She plotted a course like an advancing army, each attack based on the sales-percentage-off advertised prices from the Wednesday, pre-Thanksgiving newspaper. Before dawn, when highway off-ramps looked like parking lots and retailer parking lots looked like campgrounds, she folded into the fray. In the blackness, lines formed for miles, a long chain of bargain-hungry humanity. At the final hour, retailer doors would open as a great flood would rush, a tidal wave of flying elbows and scurrying shoes. Female mutants grew elastic arms that would snap and coil, their tentacle fingers deadlocked on merchandise topping their shopping lists. Entanglement in their crossfire left few survivors. Within hours, a hollow shell of a once fine establishment remained. Shelves lay ram-sacked, aisles gutted, end-caps eviscerated, and point-of-sales displays left unrecognizable even by their next of kin. Angry villagers with burning torches leveled towns with less velocity.

For Meemaw, it was all in a Black Friday day’s work. 

Today is Black Friday 2.0; we sip espresso, tap our keyboards, and have Alexa ‘add to our lists.’ Civility, comfort, and privacy at home. No hair pulls, no shoves from behind. Meemaw would be proud (maybe a little sad. Meemaw had a hell of a hip check*.) 

She would thrill at added opportunities like Small Business Saturday the 26th (and National Cake Day,) Cyber Monday the 28th (and National French Toast Day,) and Giving Tuesday the 29th. First in the pew for the First Sunday of Advent on the 27th, then off to enjoy a well-deserved National Personal Space Day on the 30th.

There are savings and celebrations for the rest of November. Research, plan, start early, have a list, and purchase wisely. And remember a little something nice for your Meemaw.

*Roller-derby move. An in-game love tap.

photo credit: pixabay Elisa

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